The Up-parent Truth

Discussions began over a WhatsApp forward. The gist of it said Lions hunt on their own till their last breath. They don’t wait (expect and get disappointed) from their children. So, it is unwise for the human parents to expect care from their offsprings. To which there was a counter-argument (as always),  that Lions don’t educate their younger ones in hi-fi schools and create assets for them, as the humans do.  Notwithstanding, sacrifices made on their career and at times a reputation. The neutralites, said humans are genetically programmed to do so.  Digging deeper, I literally observe that we humans have evolved ourselves to be the way we are. I strongly feel that we should not transfer the blame to the nexGen.

Look at those young wives and husbands (travel back any years), who made their parents-in-law look like ill-equipped to handle their offsprings (not taking sides with any gender in particular). Emotions sprang hither-thither only to re-affirm that their care for one-another had disembarked and was flawed. Travelling through the same tunnels of dark and unclear emotional intelligence or say transactional analysis, every parent and child is as confused as generations ago, by far.

Is it sex or lust that hinders our vision? No. Reading from so many experiences, it is definitely a No. Respect that the humans are rational and thoughtful of our parental love, all the time. It’s just that every individual human being seems or pretends to be equi-poised at any given fragment of time. We believe it so thoroughly, that we are literally blinded of our actual behaviour and facts, matter of factly.

How good am I as an offspring ?

How good am I as a parent ?

Constant questioning is inescapable to do justice to both roles. Am I neglecting my parents ? Am I pampering my children ? Majority of the times, this becomes the pattern of questioning. Only in fewer cases, it is the reverse. Some abuse does happen somewhere. We discard them as a matter of mere-minority (for a change).

I would blame Maslow for making it too obvious. In the name of self-actualisation, most of the people in their middle-ages have become blind followers of religion.  They seem to have removed all other colours (especially in India) from the spectrum, but for Saffron, Green and White.  The all-knowing middle-aged create a huge nuisance to the society. The very old and very young do not, really. Why should it be either saffron, green or white, always ?

Understand one basic facet of life. When we are young, we all are religion-neutral. Not Atheists though. We do face uncertainities such as the periodical (quarterly/semester) exams that challenge our atheism. In the eyes of the youngsters, who are now in their prime of energy and finances, how would their parent be seen, suddenly inclined to have become devout.

Similarly, for someone who have lived their age, who are facing basic existential challenges, religion is non-existent.

Look at your spouses who have been pampering you (spoilt would have been a better choice of word) all this while, taking sides with your children. Some may be out of real alignment of thoughts, but most others are out of hatred against their own seasoned-old-spouse. This is where I started believing in the statement “familiarity breeds contempt”.

The children will have their way, discarding anything that the old ones say as “out-timed”.  Literally, every parent would visit the state of mind “history-repeats”. In spite of knowledge of the past mis-givings and the literature available on such subjects, the parents tend to pretend that they are into a unique sitation, where no other parent had ever been and should seldom be in.

Shit on all those tele-serials and evening-walks, where negativity is propogated in many than one. Forget positivity, there is no neutrality in opinion, thought or deed. Somehow, we all believe and encourage more of negative feelings than otherwise.

Had we been true to the love of our parents, we undoubtedly, deserve and get the true love from our off-springs.

I do believe that this World is not as holy a place as a few claim it to be, but also do understand that it is not as shittier as the elderly minority make of it. After all, we should be knowing the up-parent truth.