To Say or Not to Say

“To Say or Not to Say”. This is neither a scene from The Hamlet, nor am I Shakespeare.

Though few in number, some WhatsApp forwards have helped us spend time meaningfully. When I say ‘few’, this may also indicate the kind of company I keep. LOL!

One such forward read “Have you ever wondered which hurts you most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had ?”, phrased by Paulo Coelho. Thanks for the quote heartfeltquotes.blogspot.com. Forgive me if I have violated any copyright in using this quote. I am only helping to propagate its strong message, which has touched me quite deeply.

Firstly, it took some time for me to comprehend the meaning of the quote. Coelho is definitely a word-smith. When I got through the meaning, which itself was a task, then, I could not decide and started wondering. I kept wondering all day. Both will hurt equally, according to me. It’s debatable, I agree.

Thinking at my current state of affairs, in my mind, I started recreating the scenes that had gone by, opportunities or decision points where I could have changed course. Events of significance, both at Work and Home, flashed one over the other, giving little room to decide, Right from Wrong. Reliving those feverish moments of indecisiveness, for most of them, I end up blaming myself for “saying nothing, and wishing I had”. Of course, few I repent, “having said and wishing I had not”.

Decision-making at any level has its own challenges. Do it and repent. Don’t-Do, yet repent.

Growing through the crevices, observing some Leaders, through them I see the open-ness of the sky and the abundant options available. My clinging to the safety-harness is the reason for all the hold back. Also, whenever I had opened up, I can trace those instances to my current strides on successes. I can now map these to some traits of the Adventurer in me.

Some might see spontaneity in my responses. Little do they know about a feverish tongue, that tries to cope up with the words and their various meanings, direct and abstract, before being spilt spelt out.

The “Growth Mindset” by Carol Dweck, (Summary) is a must-read to all. I realise that on many occasions I held a fixed mind-set and not the other. From there comes this behaviour of playing safe. I had lost on very important career decisions, worrying about the other extreme, that I might force unto myself. Now, feeling hurt, I wish I had said and had brought it to a logical point.

If someone had asked me of ‘what my greatest weakness is’, I think and believe I know, and say “I am unable to find a mid-path” while taking any decision. I am constrained with Boolean thinking, either YES or NO. Even when I am unsure of the outcomes, I choose one, which many times become the cause for hurt.

Paulo Coelho reinforces the fact that what ought to be said got to be said, not having said does not absolve one from the hurt that results therefrom. As much as, what not to be said is not to be said, clearly the results by then are in the open. Commissions and Omissions, none are exempt.

Quote Carol Dweck again, we should be “Confident enough to be vulnerable”.

Given below is another WhatsApp forward, which speaks more than a thousand words..

To Say or Not To Say. Stop Wondering ! Plug & Play !