​THE CONTEMPORARY GIANTS

By

Altus Ludius

Before you get offended with the title (hello 2016), let me explain. Indians above the average of 6 foot can be considered “giants” in the “vertically-challenged” world we live in. They can’t even fit in the appliances, furnitures, basic facilities, transportation, restrooms, etc that’s centred towards the wider population. A day’s errand gets comparitively more crappy to the folks of higher heads.

So, based on the things these people might have gone through, let’s try tapping into the lives of these “GIANTS”.

Lets start with the school days and also assume he’s a boy from the ’97 (totally random assumption). This boy being the tallest in the class mostly ends up being a “back-bencher” and has to survive amongst the most wicked (whether he likes it or not). And when they successfully succeed on their prank during the class hours, guess who gets caught. BINGO!     Being tall also makes him the “Black-Board-Leader” (99% of the time). One can never be caught acting silly if that said person is more openly visible (i.e being tall). So when people do stuff that make others laugh, please don’t try imitating them as it might give a cringe-worthy moment to the fellow audiences. So the overall school environment makes the person a “silent-to-the-public” type but at the same time “a-real-pain-in-the-arse-to-his-bestfriend” type.   And that’s just the end of the school days (LOL there’s more).

Home is the only place where you get to be YOU. Your family and friends will get used to your “above-average” height, hence no comments from them. Ahh the random relatives. Everytime there’s a family function or a get-together, train your ears to get used to the “OMG look how tall you’ve become”; ” you were in THIS height when I last saw you”; “what did your mom feed you with”; ” what’s the secret behind your height”. Yeah, just keep smiling. You’ll always be expected to be in formals while you’re at these functions (nothing to do with being tall, I guess). And always watch your head while you’re in a new place (the architect probably wasn’t hoping for your visit). 

Project “COLLEGE-DAYS” is still in progress , as more statistics keep coming day-by-day. Have fun enduring the post of the legendary WHITE-BOARD-LEADER. Even if you end up the youngest in the whole batch, you’ll be assumed to be the most responsible, reliable, trust-worthy, kid (which doesn’t sound THAT bad but still). You’ll end up listening life advises just coz you bunked one class, while your attendance percentage is still higher than everyone else’s combined (slight exaggeration). RIP to the great timely comebacks during class hours because you’re just not “that” kid anymore, have fun keeping them all inside your head and thinking “Damn I’m Hilarious”. 

The real fun (sarcasm) is when you’re travelling. Car rides ain’t that fun when someone’s behind you and you can’t stretch out your seat to the farthest. Public rides make you feel like you’re in an episode of Man vs. Wild. Why? Because If you’re standing, your head gets banged everytime there’s a speed-breaker and when you’re seated, your knees just can’t fit in and you end up with numb legs. So the next time when I offer you a seat, it’s not that I’m being kind, I’m just preferring the more comfortable position of standing. 

Though being a giant has its flaws, there are some pros too. You’ll easily be the best basketball player (with practice and all). You’ll be called as “that tall dude” making you more easily recognisable. Compliments like “wow you’re so tall” will make you blush (only if you’re accompanied with good looks). You’ll have more chance of being struck by lightning when you’re with your friends (oh that’s not a good thing). You are the most matured friend when it comes to listening to other’s problems (and also a pillar to rest on). You get to locate other’s bald spots while you’re safe with your head up high. Appearances make people assume you to be a tough guy which in turn doesn’t make you a target for bullies. Also beware of getting dizzy whenever you get up quickly from your couch. 

And this is where the thesis ends (for now). 

P.S: While you’re too busy whining about being too darn tall for this world, also spend time treasuring each moment of this high altitude you’re gifted with.