I am evolving…

I am evolving is a statement I want to make strongly.

Till 15 days ago, I was happy that I have evolved to being expressive. Earlier still, I was a dumb communicator.

Thats until I met someone very close, and who has been watching me from a elevated plane, suggested to me that my expressions when not rightly understood, is better not be expressed.  In own words, my well-wisher said that “I have to experience and stay there, enjoy the feel, be there.  Not to be in a hurry to express that I miss more experience”. A Gold-like person gave these Golden words, I value them for their intense meaning and the underlying care in my experience of the aftermath or concern for my well-being of the mis-representations or misunderstanding, while also avoiding my stupidity to ‘miss the train’, by wasting time in expressions and facing its repercussions. God Bless that soul, who gave me the Halo behind my otherwise nuts-and-bolts head.

Just to give you a little backdrop to this.  I love intellectual company, and as ever, was always in a hurry to express my reflections on the moment of being with the beings. Sharing is what I had learnt recently. My blog is just another outcome of this.  Earlier, it used to be just my emails, till recently, that is not very recently, but as in 4-5 years backwards.  Till then, I had been so called ‘action-oriented’ and could not display my thought-assets.  By the Grace of the Almighty, I have always been surrounded with intellectual company or at least, the intellect that I could admire, adore and place above mine all the way. There was never a dearth for such intellect to me.  Love all those lovely people who cared, shared and meant their purpose and contributed in growth of my intellect; I believe my intellect has grown over period.  Unfortunately, many of my close friends still struggle, while reading my write-ups, to make out what I meant.  Pardon me for my poor communication skills, just that I always took you for granted.

Today, I got a new lesson.  When during my workshop on Adlerian Psychology, the Guru from the US told that this could be the only visit of the client to you and so, during the conversation, make a list of their positive assets and hand over when they leave.  Understand, I am no psychologist or psychiatrist, and I don’t have clients, but it was meant to those learned co-learners that I was with this day. I immediately thought on different lines.

Since I don’t have such clientele, I thought of myself being in a hurry to address the deficiencies in relationships that I had caused amongst my dear and not-so-dear ones.  I want to quickly make up for my lost expressions.  While doing so, since I am persistent (not stubborn) on my honesty, I might land up stating my perceived-truths about the whole experience of my life with or without them.  Dear or un-dear me for such fallacies, but understand that I do respect your being part of my life and cherish this entire experience as a wholesome one.  Without you, this would become incomplete and without character.

I would repeat to you, all said and done, I am evolving, and yet to be there…